Monday

Just another add to the hundreds of other Heath Ledger posts that're already on the net

Spiffy's grown quite abit since my last post about him. He's also gotten really picky with his food. I like to think that he's catogorized his food between the expensive bits and the bits for peasant hamsters. He gobbles down his food like a little glutton. Not even a word of Thanks. Well sometimes Spiffy, just sometimes, I'd like to feel like I'm being thanked for what I'm doing for you. I think I've spoilt you too much. Often the food you eat offers a little more than what a tiny hamster like you usually require. You're getting a little.. Chunky. Uh-oh.

Exams ended two days ago. Yipee - but hault! Things hadn't ended. I see endless preperations for our final exams in the near future. I can sense it. Let me remind myself that things are just about to begin; youth is just a stonefall away from being trashed around like one of those chicks Akon humps on stage. Publicly humiliating and degrading.

Sooooooooooo...

When Steve Irwin died, my life collapsed. I couldn't believe that he had died from a Stingray. It was like one of those scenes from a horror b-movie where a kid starts off playing with a butterfly and she gets attacked by a monster swarm of butterflies and catterpillar follow-ups, then the real movie begins. And the whole town shelters themselves in darkness to get away from the (now) giant-butterflies and catterpillars. I remember when Steve Irwin died, I googled stingrays up and suddenly stingrays were the most dangerous creatures of the sea.

THEN HEATH LEDGER? First they kill Steve Irwin with a stingray and now they depress Heath Ledger so he could choked himself with sleeping pills?! It's the media I tell you. It's all them. They're behind all this. They placed a highly vicious stingray in the reef which had been trained to pierce holes into hearts, then they tempt Mr. Ledger by chucking pills into his toilet closet and forced him into depression by breaking him and his wife up!!! It's to gain spotlight. Celebrity deaths are depressing. I think more are ahead of us. The media has something planned up. Maybe if they're nice, they'll take away the depression from all of us by killing Britney Spears. Yeeeeeah! 'cos we are Spartaaaaaaans!

I'm going nuts. The buzzing, the ticking. Just get out of my room you bitch! You've been trapped in my room since I had gotten back from school. I have kindly left my doors and windows opened so you could free yourself, but you seem to have a great fondness for my dressing table. Get out you bee creature! I'm this close to whacking you! But I'm a little afraid actually... Your stinger looks fiesty. I hope you get out soon, otherwise...

Tuesday

Toothpaste never tasted this good...

Toothpastes are the wonders of inventions. My father tells me everyone had to brush their teeth with charcoal instead when they were younger. I wish they knew how it felt like to grow up with toothpaste.

Not all toothpastes though. No. There are toothpastes which have tendancies of filling your mouths with spit (Specifically Colgate). Over time, you'd start talking and sounding like a slug's nest had been built on the back of your tounge. Then we get toothpastes in little party packets they give us on the plane if we're flying over a longer period of time. They usually come in little black tubes the size of your thumb. Whenever I'm flying over and away from the Asian region (not often), it feel like a bar of soap had been lathered down in my mouth.

I like Oral-B. It has never let me down. Although, I have to say, toothpaste comercials do nothing but lie to us. My breath never leaves a trail of minty leaves whenever I talk or huff-a-puff. In fact, if toothpaste stays in my mouth for too long, it may start stinking up even more. If I went on a date with Oral-B breath, it might not go too well. I also don't get beautifully straight teeth whenever I brush them. They look the same as they did before... And I don't know about you, but let me tell you this; when I brush my teeth, my mouth bubbles uncontrolably with foam and spit. As unpleasant as it sounds, it's the realism of it all. Why haven't I once encountered a clean brushing experience like we see in ads?

Toothpaste and mint comercials give me fake expectations of breath and teeth.

Why am I telling you this? I like to ramble away about something most irrelavent to keep my mind off something. My english exam paper today was pretty chaotic. Not knowing what to expect, I had assumed it'd be the cherry on top of an icecream. I went in the exam room cocky, and came out a different girl. A changed girl. A girl who's pride had been ripped far apart from her.

I entered the room and the atmosphere instantly stranggled me with axiety! I opened the paper and I scribbled....
Scribbled....
Scribbled....
...I wonder how Mr. Klein pulled making three children off with Mrs. Klein... Hmm... Mrs. Klein is a pretty hot teacher...

Shit. Fifteen minutes left and all I have are these scraps of scribbles. Will this make sense? Maybe I should re-copy everything. Maybe not. What if I want to? Yeah OK, I think I can make it.

"Five minutes left" she shouts. Well Fuck you, what if I want to stay a little longer for the exam? Wait. What? Shit I can't. I have five minutes left and I've hardly re-copied everything. I think I'll leave this last page out and just hand it in anyway. If they fail me in this paper, I'll re-scribble everything out and tell them they've marked everything wrongly because they didn't give us enough time to write the expected standard of an essay. I'll tell them they've read everything incorrectly.

So I'm sick of contemplating on the what if's and the what not's. I'd rather forget all about my exams until the results are out. It's like waiting for dooms day. Except in a far worst situation, in a student's case.

I better be off now. I'm starting to feel the fustration raging out as I sit here trying to find the end of a sticky tape roll. I think I might have rubbed over it a couple of times now. Why do they have flies patterned around the roll? Was sticky tape invented to catch flies... Why's it stained with a flat smell of plastic... Oh right.

This is making me sick.

Thursday

Michael Jackson for President may just eliminate Racism in America

The year's looking promising. After several years of pondering on the idea of how IB is going to be like, I don't think I want to even know at this stage.

The ribbons popped, the music played, hugs were exchanged, then we go back and enjoy a few moments of happiness, where everyone forgets about everything else, then we meet the MOCKS. The best welcoming to a new year anyone can ever recieve. Of course, Schools expect us to spend our December holidays preparing for our MOCKS. It's only normal to spend Christmas and New years eve running through school notes. I had to drag my weariness to my celebrations, the feeling of dreading the start of school. It lurked within me everywhere I went. The MOCKS are haunting.



2008 has the next presidential campaign lined up for America as well. I'm all for Obama. Fuck female presidents. I didn't think I'd see a black president for another 10 years, so if only they had online voting. I'd be Obama's number one fan. Or Sultan... Can never forget Asian pride of course.

It's strange to think how the presidential campaign in America can effect so many other people around the world. America has become so well developed and done so good for themselves, I've come to think that the whole world has become a little clump which revolves around America itself. Wehre would we all be if it wasn't for good ol' Christopher Columbus? Let's see the whole world drooling over the crowning of the next Sultan in Brunei. It's amazing isn't it, how we've all simply allowed ourselves to be sucked into the whole American Culture.

I don't think that there is anything wrong with us being so, we cannot help it, but sometimes we have to realise that we've been put into this world with stretchy eyes, which will identify us as the chinks. I don't midn the American culture, but they have made such a great impact in this world, it makes me wonder how everything would be like if it wasn't for America. I can't put this in any other context which will make me sound less like a sort of American Obssesser, but I assure you that I'm not. I suppose in some perspective, we all rely and depend on them, even at the smallest point I'm sure.

Could that possibly be the reason why so many of us put ourselves in the presidential campaign as well? Or any other American events in general. Is it scary to think that America may just be taking over the world? Maybe they assassinated Benazir Bhutto in Pakistan.

It's depressing.

But I refuse to phraise them and respect them like gods, like I tend to see some people do to any westerners they meet. It's sick. I like to think of it as being intimidated, but I really think that there isn't any reason to be. I don't think any of us should feel intimidated by anyone, because we'd put ourselves down below them and often, we'd boost their egos. And they become cocky shits who deserve to burn in hell. Next time you meet a cocky shit, you better slap it good.

It all comes down to one point of course; it's my eyes. They itch and it's late, I want to sleep. Goodnight.

Saturday

Air Asians...

Wah lau. 2008 already.. happy new year

I was at Penang for the new years and I have to tell you, Penang is like a mini bangladesh. Everyone's walking on the streets and the lines on the roads aren't visible, so people're driving all over the roads. People are eating curry laksas on the floors, the hocker stores are crowded but filthy places to go to. I just don't understand why I haven't ever realized this about Penang before.

I got to Penang by airasia, but through KL first, and arrived at LCCT which is like, believe it or not, Air Asia's own terminal. Whut the fuck man since when did they get their own terminal, they're taking over the world. So we arrived, and usual Air Asia treatment you know, you get off the plane, you walk down the stairs because they they think that if we're paying less, they won't have to give us the walkway into the airport, and like we race into the airport. Everyone's running and pushing like barbarians. You'd think that we'd be a little more civilized than that, but nobody acts like themselves in Air Asia. Taking Air Asia is like an excuse to go barbaric and rebelious.

We arrived in this like, bus station or something. It did not look like a terminal at all, you see these bums lying on benches at the arrival hall, which I suspect are illegal immigrants or something. People are cutting into lines and shit, and you have to tell them off or push them away. You have to withstand your ground and be one of them, blend into the environment and you wouldn't get pushed around. So that's probably why everyone's so wild over there. I seemed to finally understand why they had to build their own terminal, can you imagine a bunch of air asians running around KLIA.

In advertisements and shit, you'd think that everything about air asia's really low budget. And I always thought that the air stewardses are goign to be an ugly bunch, because everytime I saw an Air Asia ad, they didn't look very appealing. But you get into the plane right, and the air stewardesses are all hot. So I was thinking, Whut the fuck? Why's everything so opposite in this place. So you see them hot and stuff, and you'd think that hey, maybe they're nice, maybe they'll give us extra service, maybe they'll give us some free food, but I was just wrong man. They are just as rude. Everyone's fighting for their seats and stuff, you get people who don't know the rules on te plane, I honestly don't blame them for their attitude that was being thrown onto us. But if you're going to be rude, then you might as well just work at a hocker restaurant. We're paying less but we still gotta get some good service running.

It was funny because we were landing and I still had my mp3 running in my ears, the air stewardess came and pointed really aggresively into her ears, I reckon she was indicating for me to switch it off or something. But she did it really rudely, and I would've switched it off for anyone else, but not for her. So I told her that it was already switched off, I just have my ear phones in my ear. And she totally ignored me and ran away.

Hey, and Nicholas reckoned that the reason why we shouldn't leave our handphones on are becuase the phone services wouldnt' know how to charge us, not because the plane panels has the same frequency as our phones. So we left our handphones on, and... we didnt' crash and die. I also don't understand why we have to have our seats back up right, so what we always do is when we get into a plane, we lean our seats down to the same level so the air stewardeses wouldn't notice. You should probably do that too. But we all got caught once, and it was just funny becuase we all had to push our seats up. How obvious was it that we were trying to fake it.

In Air Asia, everything's so hectic. You get these white poeple who're so confused, because they don't understand the whole system. So you get these guys who take their anger out on the asians. And these asians will allow them to becuase sometimes they think foreigners are much more superior than we are. So we were waiting in the express line, and this white guy was taking his anger out on the she-man who was working for air asia, because he didnt' want to wait in the other line. and it was crap because he then cut infront of us. And my sister mumbled something about people cutting in, and he turned back and told us he was there first and told us to 'SHUT THE FUCK UP', fcking bogan. A whole conflict was created, it was pretty exciting. but the she-man came in and told him to 'calm dowwn~~ it's okee~ i gib u express ticket u must paay~" and that was the end of it. The white dude seriously thought he owned the place.

I also don't understand the whole paying to get into a toilet system at Malaysia. Who wants to pay to use a crappy toilet. And those poor people who have to spend the rest of their lives sitting outside a toilet collecting money... If we're paying to get into a toilet, it should be of a better condition.

I'm glad I'm back in Brunei...